Dating can be an absolute nightmare for shy individuals. You want to satisfy the ideal person, but you are too scared to do anything about it.
Introductions–sticking out one’s hand and looking another person in the eyecan be terrifying. You stammer. You think to yourself,”Why would anybody care about me? I am really not that interesting!”
Fear not. Here are a few tips for taming your social terror.
- Is bound to come up, so have a ready response. You don’t have to brag about catching the business Tidy Break area Award; just state clearly what you do for a living and do not apologize for it!
- Ask questions. Folks like to talk about themselves (okay, except for people like you), so ask questions. Produce a list before you leave the house, i.e., How did you get in that line of work? Where did you go to college? Have you noticed the new Brad Pitt movie?
- When you fumble, turn the topic to another person. Whenever you find yourself longing to throw a blanket over your head and crawl off, consider saying something like”And what about you?”
- Listen to what another person is saying! Rather than fretting about what you will say , still the wheels of your mind and listen. If a guy tells you about his weekend on the golf course, and you know absolutely nothing about golf, just ask him what he likes about it, how he got into it, etc..
- Smile. It’s not necessary to smile like an idiot, but a disarming smile will get’em every moment. Display teeth whenever possible.
- Breathe. Whenever you feel your heart racing, breathe slowly and deeply. If you really begin to feel uneasy (your face has become so hot you could use it to get a wok), excuse yourself and go to the restroom.
- Compliment another person. Sincerity is key, so find something you want and mention it. You could be freaked out by the concept of complimenting a guy on his soulful eyes, so mention his view, suit, tie, or even his shoes.
- Keep on top of current events. You don’t necessarily need to bring up your stand on Bush v. Kerry during a first meeting, but you should be able to discuss less contentious issues intelligently.
- Bear in Mind the weather! Some people have the”gift of gab,” the ability to make strangers feel like they have known them forever. They’re fearless about talking about the weather, gas prices, whatever. Shy individuals fear that talking about mundane things will make them look stupid. But apparently dull subjects like the weather affect everyone. People relate to them.
- Hold up your head. It’s the easiest, most efficient way to appear confident. Superior posture, coupled with that fabulous smile of yours, gives you a”winner’s vibe.” You’re sure to be a hit!
Be warned: These tips won’t help you in case you do not leave the house. It is simply too easy to watch a Friends rerun for the umpteenth time rather than meeting people, but I guarantee you that Prince Charming is not going to climb through your bedroom window.
Talking to strangers can be uncomfortable, but with practice it will certainly get easier. For those who have a bad night, congratulate yourself for making the effort. When you’ve got a fantastic night, realize that you earned it. Know that countless terrific nights are on their way to you.